Practical Magic Prep: Full Moon in Aries

Hey, I Ain’t Never Coming Home. Hey, I’ll Just Wander my Own Road.

The upcoming Full Moon is in Aries and the theme is big warrior energy. On the positive-side of that energy is an assertive, energetic boost to get out there and fight for the life you want to see. There’s a call to bold action. To putting in the hours to achieve the results. To bold, new beginnings. The potential shadow of that energy though can be unjustified conflict or aggression. It’s important to choose your battles, but that doesn’t mean step away from all conflict, it means choosing to go to battle for the causes and things you feel passionately about. This Full Moon is inviting you to let go of the ways you are playing small and step forward with confidence in new directions, toward new habits and mindsets, toward new ways of being.

Sleep in Sweat, The Mirror’s Cold.

I’ve been thinking a lot about conflict lately. As a woman of a certain age I feel that conflict was really something that was embedded in my psyche growing up as being bad. Especially as a woman. Women who spoke up were obnoxious, bitches, or my father’s favorite term “Feminazis.” There’s one extremely small insight into my non-existent relationship with my father for 15 years now. And certainly high-risk or unjustified conflict is bad, but what I’ve learned as I’ve aged is that I’m really bad at conflict, it makes me deeply uncomfortable and really negatively impacts my mental health. And that’s not good because learning healthy conflict tactics is extremely important in our daily lives. It’s important for our relationships with our spouses, our kids, our friends and our family. It’s not to be “difficult” but it is to be able to have a respectful, healthy place to say, hey I was really upset by this, can we talk about it? Can we understand one another better?

See my Face It’s Growing Old. Scared to Death No Reason Why.

I had a bad review at my apothecary this summer that deeply wounded me. Was it unjustified? To me, yes. But did I need to take the irrelevant criticism so hard? No. I literally can not control other people’s opinions or reviews. It’s totally subjective. I also wrote my first ever 4 out of 5 star review for a guest at my AirBnB who violated our house rules and left the apartment a mess (trash, dishes, etc.). Normally I just let that stuff go and either rate them a 5 overall or I don’t rate. But this one was bad and I thought, by not being honest that they broke our house rules, I’m not helping other hosts who will likely encounter the same issues – which is not fair or honest. The guest saw my 4 of 5 review and barraged me in Ims with 17 messages about how awful I am and hurled every insult known to man. Did I do the right thing? I don’t know. I didn’t sleep all night I was so upset. I have studied stoicism for the last ten years and this summer’s criticisms have made me realize that while I have studied it, I am still an absolute novice at living it.

Take Me Home. Yeah, Take Me Home. Say Goodbye Don’t Follow

So this Full Moon in Aries I am urging you to let go of any old habits that have kept you in polite, sleepy conflict-avoidance To stand up for yourself. To sit in that extremely uncomfortable space of raising an issue when there is one (and oh my holy cow it is so uncomfortable). I’ve been reading Machiavelli for Women, by Stacey Vanek Smith and really appreciating the insights. You may enjoy it, too. I’ve also been looking at formally enrolling in Conflict Resolution Workshops to formally learn how to train myself better to engage in healthy, respectful conflict training – like the course taught at Cornell online. If you have good conflict resolution training resources please let me know in the comments!